About five years ago another version of me stepped out from the shadows and took centre stage.. For the sake of this blog, let’s call this new version of me ‘MenoMe’.
“What? A whole new persona?” I hear you ask. “Is that really necessary?” Honestly, I have to reply resoundingly and unabashedly, YES!
So, MenoMe, who for all intents and purposes is a more extreme version of me, has taken over my life.
I know this seems exaggerated, but it was truly how I feel. My body, my emotions, my mind, absolutely every aspect of me that I had come to know and love over the last 45 years of my human experience were hardly recognisable and even more scary to say, were no longer dependable.
“How can that be?” I hear you mumble under your breath as you roll your eyes heavenwards… Well, grab a snack and drink of your choice, get comfy, relax, and let me tell you.
‘MenoMe’ announced her arrival by stating firmly and irrevocably that sleeping for more than 3 hours at a stretch was now a thing of the past. There I was three weeks in, crying into my Chamomile Tea, thinking that I couldn’t take it any more… Night after night I fell into bed, exhausted. All I wanted to do was sleep, I was desperate to sleep. As I lay there exhausted, overwhelmed and desperate, MenoMe said: “Sleep? Sleep? Who needs sleep? Let’s stay up all night and just think, think, think!” She then went on to say: “After that, toss and turn, then toss and turn some more and then think, think, think and think some more.”
Now, it wouldn’t be as excruciatingly awful as it was if I was actually thinking of something worthwhile, but noooo, no chance of that. My mind was like the squirrel Hammy, voiced by Steve Carell from Over The Hedge…. “Look here. Who’s there? What colour is that? I wonder what would happen if I said I didn’t really care? How many hours ’till Tuesday? Where did human beings really come from? Does a gecko ever ask which way is up? What time did the post office say my parcel would arrive? Did I switch off the stove? I wonder how the birds are keeping dry in this rain? When will Summer be over? How many shades of green are there, really?…” and on and on and on and on and on… Get the picture?